Hello. My name is Brian. Something happened to me the other day that I need to get off my chest. I like pie. I will tell you the story. In a few minutes.
So, one day, me and my girlfriend were driving down the rode. We had sex. I spotted a strange house that had the sign, KEEP OUT, on it. We had SEX. I told her I was going to go in, but she wanted to come in too. I ate my uncle. I spotted a shadow out of the corner of my eye when we walked in. Giraffes are the gods of love. I said to her, "What was that?!" I am NAKED. She said she didn't know. I know you saw the words "naked" and sex" first, you pervert. So, we went upstairs, and found a bedroom. MEGAPHOOOOOOOOOONE! So, we decided to mess around up there. I licked a mirror.
Me and her woke up the next day, realizing our clothes were gone. I hate zero tolerance. We found them in a drawer, and put them on. I ate my hand. I then spotted a pair of eyes, looking at us down the hall. I breed zebras. I ran down the hall, and heard a scream. I threw myself out the window. I went back to the room, and there was hyper-realistic blood coming out of my girlfriend's guts. PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND ME ONLY! I saw a skeleton in the closet, and realized she was torn apart by something. My favorite animals are racoons.
I saw the creature again, and chased it down stairs. THERE IS AN EVIL MONKEY IN MY CLOSET! I tripped and broke my leg. Mario the Plumber ate a lamborghini. The creature then came down, and laughed at me. Absorbent and yellow and porus is he! It said, "GOODNIGHT TOM!", and killed me, even though I typed this story. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!"